


The Devil's Carnival

by SidingWithTheAngels (siding_with_the_angels)



Series: The Devil's Carnival [3]
Category: Supernatural, The Devil's Carnival (2012)
Genre: Character Death (with resurrection), Established Relationship, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Violence, Vague mentioning of PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-01-10 21:24:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 19,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siding_with_the_angels/pseuds/SidingWithTheAngels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the Devil's Carnival attendees have to pay for their offenses in the eyes of 'God' by repeating their lives. Sometimes, and this has never happened, they get to go to Heaven.</p>
<p>When the next batch of sinners are shipped to the carnival Lucifer himself feels as if this could be taken as an opportunity and he will do just that. After all, the Devil knows the best occasions to stir up a little trouble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of my ongoing tumblr tag Lucifer's Carnival you can check that out here (http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/tagged/Lucifer's-Carnival). 
> 
> This obviously has extreme, if not total, inspiration from the amazing movie 'The Devil's Carnival' which if you haven't watched it I highly suggest (it's on Netflix come on guys). It's extremely beautiful and just screams to have a Supernatural AU written about it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bela and John side.
> 
> beta'd by the beautiful [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)

Darkness. Hard Ground. Loud Sounds. Flashes of lights. Smell of dust and hidden decay. John opens his eyes thinking he's back under fire, he's being taken back, back to a time where he killed for his country. He reaction is automatic, he bolts up, eyes wide, hands ready.

He's at a carnival, he's at a  _freakin'_  carnival. He has no idea why he's here but the first thing that jumps into his mind is Mary, that he needs to find Mary. Maybe she had come here and he had followed her? It seemed like the only logical answer.

Brushing off the dust and the sticking hay from the ground he looks around, he looks at every  ~~creature~~  carnie that stands around him, their teeth bared in cruel twisted smiles as they laugh at him, as if they know him, as if he is the center attraction. 

It's when he averts his eyes from them he notices the small ticket on the ground with his name written in perfect penmanship. Picking it up he opens and reads:

 

>   
> _ Where has your beautiful wife run off to John? _
> 
> _ -L_

 Enclosed in the letter is a ticket, a ticket for one to 'The Devil's Carnival'. Well, at least he knew where he was now. But why would Mary come here of all places? The Devil?

It didn't matter. She had to be here, this letter wouldn't have brought her up if she wasn't. 

* * *

Bela wakes up and the first thing she notices is the jewelry, she's covered in priceless gems and silvers and even gold. It's glorious, she's covered in everything she's ever wanted.

Turning around to look at her surroundings she spots a card, a card with her name,  _Ms. Bela Talbot_  written in elegant penmanship. Inside is nothing but a ticket, a ticket to 'The Devil's Carnival'. Looking down at the red ticket she breathes in, trying to piece this together. 

Whatever theory she was working on quickly dissipates from her mind when her eyes land on a hat, a hat laying on the ground filled to the brim with jewels and true wearable treasures.

She completely bypasses the sign next to it saying 'Take Only What You Need' and takes it all. They slide into her pockets, around her neck, wrists and fingers perfectly and she wears them as if they were made for her. 

Upon standing and taking the last jeweled piece sirens go off, along with lights that remind her too much of those police cars that haunt her in her dreams. Running from the scene she makes it to a large group of carnies and a man, a man who obviously doesn't belong here.

If there is one thing Bela knows better than how to steal it's how to play people. 

Walking over to the man she grabs onto his arm, he's strong and tall and for a second intimidates her, but she quickly gets over it.

"They're coming for me!" 

He looks confused but doesn't pull away, "Who's coming?" 

Bela doesn't answer, she knows if she does he might run, that this façade would be ruined by the truth. "Walk with me, walk with me. Move!" She starts towards the gates with the large 'The Devil's Carnival' sign above it.

The man nods, and continues with her without a second thought, seeming determined as if he's looking for something. Well, he's not the only one looking for something. 

* * *

John has no idea who the woman on his arm is, but he actually doesn't care, he doesn't care because he's scanning the surrounding area for the only important person here, Mary.

It's when they come to a ticket booth they are stopped.

There's a man with a faded old baseball cap on and a scruffy beard that gives John's scruff a run for his money. He holds out a hand, "Good evening, tickets please." John produces his ticket as the woman looks for her's in the folds of her coat.

"We're together." She adds as she finally hands over her ticket and John couldn't care less, he's craning his neck around the booth to see beyond, to see if he can see curly blonde hair moving within this crowd of heathens. 

The Ticket Keeper seems to ignore what John's doing as he states automatically, "Can I train you to some of our attractions?" John says nothing, he knows these are pleasantries and he has better things to do.

So the Ticket Keeper moves his eyes from him and looks at the woman, playing with her necklaces.  

* * *

Bobby's been doing this for years, years and years. Years pass differently down here, one human month is 40 years down here. There's a lot of time for people to relive their sins and Bobby's seen just about all of them. These two however, John and Bela, he knows are not a couple. He got the low down from Lucifer of course, John is searching for his wife, Bela is a professional thief and the other one, Sam? Well, he must not be touched, he is to wonder the carnival. 

But Sam isn't with them, and noticing Bela play with her trinkets gives Bobby a smile, a crooked smile in fact. This will play out exactly how they believed.

"If you like those-" He grunts nodding his head towards the jewelry Bela was admiring on herself, "You'll love this." He pulls out a pamphlet, one with a diamond so large you could club a baby seal with it. 

"Is it as big as it looks?"

"Bigger." Bobby resists the urge to roll his eyes, the greedy ones were always the worst.

"I need to get going." John suddenly pipes up, apparently standing at the booth was wasting too much time, too bad they didn't realize that time meant little down here. 

"You're going to have to wait your turn." He nearly growled, but his temper is kept, they weren't the worst attendees the carnival has had, nothing like Dean on his first round when he just asked questions and then blew on right through. 

"Rules?" John asks. 

"Rules of nature, rules of man, why even ticket booths have rules." He than reached up to the top of the booth and pulls out the large scroll, "You see there's a chaos that reigns at the heart of this beast. Yes, our carnival here is a well oiled machine. All six hundred sixty-six rules are policed, all six hundred sixty-six rules you must heed." He states simply, he's done this for so many years. So many attendees, to many attendees who never walking out of here. 

Before the two turned their backs on him he continues with his warning, because it needs to be said. "There are consequences, morbid consequences, crueler than ever imagined when you don't follow the rules."

As they leave his eyesight he looks over towards The Tamer, a tall man with a wild beard and a bloody expression, they know what will happen, it is the inevitable. "idjits." He breathes towards his companion. 

"Who you think is going to get them first?" The Tamer questions, his stone cold eyes staring towards the moving backs as they go their separate ways, The Tamer's fingers play with the mace he holds over his shoulder. 

Bobby shrugs, "We will have to see."

They continue to watch as the two disappear from their sights, it was up to the carnies now, and only those chosen to entertain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each end notes will have the characters' cards (which have background attached) that are involved majorly in the story.
> 
> [[John Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74989936059/im-looking-for-my-wife-attendee-john)] [[Bela Talbot Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75094239413/nothing-but-aces-attendee-bela-talbot-sin)] [[Ticket Keeper Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75106769184/order-makes-us-forget-the-sins-of-our-past)]
> 
> There is a song that Ticket Keeper sings, you can find it here: [[Song: 666](http://youtu.be/GmVLJ6NDH_k)]  
> \-------------------------------------------------------  
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed it :) comments are appreciated


	2. Welcome, Sam.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam side.
> 
> beta'd by  [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)

Sam wakes up and he's in a carnival, not the sort of carnival his father or older brother would bring him too, no, this one is dark... it feels off and he has the feeling he needs to get out of here.

Brushing off the hay from his clothing he stands, and takes in his surroundings.

It's dark, low lit like when you're behind the curtain, as if the carnies know where they are going and need not the light.

He begins to walk, looking over everything he passes as if it could lead to a clue.

He doesn't know how he got here but feels as though he deserves it, as if this is a pivotal moment in his life and he needs to remember it. Like when he walked into Stanford for the first time, like when he went to Dean's funeral. 

Pain shoots through Sam's stomach. It's his fault Dean's dead, all his fault. If he hadn't trusted those men... Dean would have never protected him like he did. He never would have gone into that alley. He never would have brought a knife to a gun fight. 

Suddenly feeling sick to his stomach he keeps his head down, as if that will hide the shame, the remorse.

Sam doesn't realize what his main problem is, perhaps he never will, he'll never realize that his own sin is gullibility, that trust in his way is a sin, a death sentence. 

It's in this second that he notes a beautifully written evevolpe with his name inscriped upon it. Reaching down he picks it up, there is no letter inside of it, just a ticket. Pocketing the ticket and the letter he continues on his way, still staring at the ground in dismay. 

Walking through the back paths of this strange carnival he hears someone, someone that sounds all too familiar.

Someone calling "Sammy! I'm in a cage!", turning around Sam lands eyes on someone he thought he lost four years ago, someone who still might be lost to him, but he's too gullible to care. 

"Dean!" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam's Card: [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)]


	3. Gone, Gone, Gone John!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John side.
> 
> This chapter is beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](http://ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.

This carnival is not a place Mary would be, John knows this. The people here, the carnies, are less than desirable and besides, Mary hated carnivals in general. Often when the kids were young it was John that made the plans, it was John that picked where they’d go and Mary would come along than, because she trusted John to not pick a carnival that was bad.

This is not a carnival John would pick, Mary would never come here. Maybe she was lost, maybe she accidentally walked in and now needed John to help her calm down. Focusing on this John walked the empty paths between booths until coming upon the Lost & Found tent.

Entering the tent John realized it wasn’t exactly lost and found, as it was basically empty and completely dark.

"Hello?" He called, because there just had to be someone there.

As he walked farther into the tent a flood light came on, blinding John for a moment. When he opens his eyes once more there is a woman. Her dark hair is waved, reaching her shoulders. She stands still with her face emotionless and painted like a clown, completely white except for red lips and black lines running down her cheeks like tears.

As John walks forward he realizes she’s motionless, like some sort of life sized doll. “Hello?” He greets hesitantly, unsure of how to proceed. She has to be alive, despite the fact her eyes stare forward and she makes no movement.

"I’m looking for my wife." John starts again, this time more sure of himself, "she’s a little shorter than me, has long blonde hair. Please have you seen her? I have to find her."

The doll suddenly jerks to life, her fingers grabbing at John’s shoulders and making him lose balance. “Find her John?” Her voice is loud in the silence of the room as she nearly laughs the next sentence, “find her? How can you find something you lost?!”

John’s in such a shock he doesn’t notice the three women around him until they’re pulling at him, stretching him into four directions, all laughing and repeating “find her John?! You lost! You lost her!” They continue to pull and scrap at him until he’s able to pull himself away from their grasps.

They circle him like hyenas, the one with the painted face seems to be their leader as she laughs in his face, “you can’t find her here John.” She flicks him in the face, nearly singing “She’s gone John! Gone, gone, gone.”

John can’t breathe, he acts tough, he puts on a face for these horrible creatures but this is his fear. Losing Mary, the greatest loss in his life, the only human who gave him their heart without judgement. A trust that ran so deep they were able to have a family and live happily. The women continue to circle him, poking and prodding, repeating the same words “Gone! Gone! Gone!” over and over again until John just screams “Enough!”

It’s like a switch was flipped, the women and their leader recede into the shadows as if on queue, disappearing like they were never there. Breathing in several times John calms himself, he stamps down the fear, squashes the pain and turns.

There is a booth, a kissing booth of all things sitting there, as if nothing had happened as if it was supposed to be in the Lost & Found tent. John thinks of just leaving, of ignoring the man standing there with this emotionless face but… The booth says “information” on it and John needs to know. Needs to.

As he walks closer he notes how the man behind the booth has cracked skin, as if he had been a doll who fell from a precarious height. He also notices how as he nears the booth the man seems to take a step back, as if he doesn’t want to get involved, but he stays as John finally steps up.

John figures this man had to be here for the entire abuse of the women, that he had heard John’s own description of his wife, so he just continues. “Please tell me you know something about my wife.”

The man doesn’t move, he keeps his hands in his pockets and looks down at the booth front. Skating his eyes over the booth bottom John finally reads the words in their entirety, “information for a kiss”. No way in hell.

"I’m not going to kiss you." John growls out, his fear being replaced with an anger at this carnival, why was everything so twisted? Why couldn’t he just have his wife back?

Strangely the man seems very relieved, his shoulders relaxing slightly.

"Can you tell me anything?" John asks, trying to control his growing anger. The man just looks at the words again.

John’s had enough of this, slamming his hands down on the booth counter he whirls around, he wants to punch something, he wants things to be simple. For a brief moment John misses the war, he misses the simplicity of good guy, bad guy, he misses the general rule of protecting his brothers-in-arms. He misses the sweet taste of freedom as he steps onto the helicopter, knowing he will never return. But this place isn’t Vietnam, this isn’t a war, this is a fucking carnival with fucked up carnies and fucked up rules.

"Fuck it!" He exclaims, turning back towards the booth. The man is still standing there, his body poised as if ready to take a blow. "This place is crazy!" He points at the man, taking out his aggression and feelings of failure on the man.

The man, for his credit, actually seems a little sad, as if he wishes he could help but truly cannot. John just shakes his head, he needs to find Mary. He needs to.

Leaving the tent John doesn’t notice how the man with the cracked face leaves in the other direction. He doesn’t know that this man with the cracked skin and emotionless face is out on a war path. He doesn’t know that the man with the cracked face has a soft spot for Winchester’s, that he is determined to help in any lawful fashion he can.

* * *

John's walking, trying to figure out where Mary would have gone, if she didn't go to the Lost & Found tent than where else would she go? 

It's when he's passing the merry-go-round that he sees her, she's wearing her work outfit, her hair pulled back slightly and she smiles at him, she smiles and John wants to cry. All anger and rage he had before dissipates, Mary. Mary. Mary. 

He runs towards her, and she turns a corner, laughing at something, "Come along John!" She calls happily, like this is some kind of game. And maybe this is in some form her getting back at him for what happened that night, either he's not mad at her. He just wants to see her. 

He turns the corner and sees her farther away than before, taking cotton candy from one of the carnies. This time John catches up to her as she pops a couple pieces into her mouth. "Mary." He breathes, catching his breath before he continues. She just stands there, blinking slightly and smiling, "Please don't run away." 

When he finally catches his breath he wraps his arms around her, pulling her as close as he can. She rests herself against him, her chin resting at his shoulder while her arms stay at his side, the cotton candy falling from her hand. "Please you can't just leave like that." John often tries to control his voice, it's a sign of weakness to reveal things in public and god damn it he's not going to expose himself in the middle of this hellish carnival. 

There's silence coming from Mary, and John looks down, towards where the cotton candy had dropped. The spun sugar appears to have melted already, pooling oddly. Looking closer at it it's too dark of a shade to be melted sugar, it's too close to the known shade of blood. "Mary?" He asks quietly, pulling Mary's body away to look at her. Maybe she had bit her lip or something. He knew it was ridiculous but--

When he pulls the body away from his own it's not Mary, it's a girl with nearly white eyes and a cruel smile. "Lost something?" She giggles, her smile gaining size as she cocks her head to the side, her look of innocence completely distorted by the smile. 

On automatic John drops her, and she just pops back up, like some kind of punching bag, an over dramatic pout on her lips, "Is that how you treat your family Johnny-Poo?" She almost sings out his name, "They do something wrong and you just throw them away? I can see why she's lost." 

John makes a move to grab her, but she just slips smoothly away so instead he speaks, "Where is my wife?" The little girl just laughs, giving him a strangely twisted wink before countering, "Where are  _you_ , Johnny-Poo?" With that she skips away, her hand held out as if she's holding hands with someone and as she disappears John looks around. He was so close, so close to his wife but maybe he never was, maybe it was all a lie, maybe this whole place was one big lie, a dream he was stuck in.

Either way, he needed to find Mary, dream or not she was here, somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[John Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74989936059/im-looking-for-my-wife-attendee-john)]  [[Wick Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75533419395/queen-of-the-painted-princesses)]  [[Woe Maidens Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75639952353/cunning-devious-little-princesses)]  [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]  [[The Fool Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75722469526/imagination-takes-flight-oh-toxic-little-child)]


	4. Deals for a Diamond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bela's side.
> 
> beta'd by  [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)

Bela’s in Heaven. Well, not literally, but in a way she is. This place, this carnival, is filled with the most precious of objects. Silvers, golds, gems and jewels, all just laying around, ripe for the picking. So it’s totally understandable that she takes every single one. Bela didn’t even give it a second thought as she places the knickknacks into the pockets of her fur jacket, she just keeps collecting them.

In her endeavors she runs into a mirror, conveniently placed next to a rather costly necklace. As Bela picks up and places the necklace against her neck to examine how it looks, she notices something strange in the mirror, something very odd, something she would later push from her mind. A man with a strange lizard face, a teasing smile, and a top hat. Turning around, she noticed that the man wasn’t there and therefore wasn’t important. Who was there, however, was a larger man, one with a slightly ginger beard, a bowler hat, and a painted face complete with a red clown nose.

Knowing that she herself could not understand the map the Ticket Keeper had given her, she decides to ask this man who is sitting across the alley from her, playing a harmonica.

"You." She prompts as she walks over, pausing the man’s playful tune as he looks up with inhuman eyes. He says nothing but lets a small smile seep into his features, as if he knows something she doesn’t. Bela doesn’t like not knowing things, so immediately her guard is up as she continues to speak. "This map is useless." She prods at the paper and the man goes back to playing his harmonica, that smug smile still on his face.

Reaching a new level of annoyance, she places a hand on her hip and stares the man down, “I need your help to find this diamond. I’ll compensate you, of course.” The man makes no sound, but instead holds out a hand. Bela makes a sound in disgust; what a money grubber. He should know that it was information first, then reward. Rolling her eyes, she flings the map to the ground, turning around to search on her own.

For the second time in a row when she turns around there is someone behind her, and this time it’s that bloody Ticket Keeper. He makes a small grunt in annoyance, and rolls out the scroll with the rules on it. “Ma’am, littering is against the rules.” He states matter-of-factly, pointing to the rule in question.

Knowing she’s been caught, Bela ignores his statement, and points at the map as if it’s at fault. “Your map is completely useless.” And maybe she’s sounding a little whiney, but maps are meant to  _help_ , not confuse. The look Ticket Keeper gives her tells her that no amount of excuses will save her, and she makes a break for it.

As she starts running she notices that she’s making her escape as the man with the whip turns the corner. Bela makes it away with him only cracking the whip once, barely hitting her covered back.

As she runs, her breath hitches (she will never wear heals again), but she keeps going, only stopping when a booth comes into view.

Pausing in front of the booth she catches her breath, she sees a man with scaly skin, a top hat and a bemused expression on his face. “Did you- did you see what those monsters did to me?” Bela asks once she has calmed down her lungs enough.

The man nods, folding his hands in front of him, that bemused expression still on his face as he cocks an eyebrow. “They can be quite cruel.” He muses, his voice lofty and teasing. Another carnie with an all knowing look, but Bela ignores it this time, mainly because the next thing this carnie does is pull out a rather expensive looking flask, offering it to her.

Bela takes the flask without thinking, evaluating the price. It’s gold inlaid with ruby, an expensive object in all circles, if it was real of course. Turning the flask over in her hands she looks for the telltale ‘Made in China’ type, which there is none. “Is this real?” She questions, knowing that it probably is. This would fetch a pretty penny.

The carnie’s amusement grows, watching her as she pockets the flask, but saying nothing on that subject, he speaks up, “Are yours?”

Bela laughs quietly at that, “Nothing but aces.” She states proudly, looking down at her jewelry covered chest. Looking up, she sees the carnie nod slightly, more to himself than her.

"Well then, I’ll have to show you something."

Bela is about to question him when he moves, removing a red piece of silk to reveal a diamond the size of a fully grown male’s heart. She gasps and stares at the diamond, “It’s beautiful.” She whispers, moving slightly closer to get a good look at the gemstone, but being blocked by the fence.

The carnie smiles, his amusement turning into something more sinister. If only she would pay attention to his face, and not the gleaming stone. “You can win it.” He says easily, leaning against the fence as Bela continues to stare down the diamond.

"I can? How?" Her voice is rushed, her eyes covered with the stars of owning this object, her mind clouded by greed.

The carnie, The Twin, grins and moves his hand in a showman fashion, “You just have to play the game.”

"Deal." She agrees without another thought in her mind besides owning this precious gem.

The carnie smiles, his face slightly contorting, reptilian features revealing themselves. “Deal, Ms. Talbot. Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Bela Talbot Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75094239413/nothing-but-aces-attendee-bela-talbot-sin)] [[Hobo Clown Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75850083480/with-a-little-bit-of-fangs-and-fun)] [[The Twin Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75947675454/run-and-hide-heavens-rogue)] 


	5. Threes a Crowd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sure, this is Hell, but that doesn't mean there is never any drama. Matter of fact it can be a lot worse than with the humans.
> 
> beta'd by  [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)

Castiel’s making a beeline for Lucifer’s office when he gets stopped by The Major and Magician. He knows exactly what they want, and he really doesn’t have time for their shit. He has a schedule to keep; he’s supposed to meet Dean in fifteen minutes in his show tent and he is never late.

"Doll!" The Major, also known by his human name, Crowley, calls, pausing Castiel’s determined footsteps. He wants to curse, or snap at Crowley, but Balthazar is with him and he respects Balthazar too much to disrespect him. So instead he pauses and arches an eyebrow, giving them the signal to continue.

Crowley and Balthazar share a look before Crowley speaks up again, “Are you going to  _his_  office?”

The urge to snap rises in his chest because… Where else would he be? Dean’s in a cage (part of their plan) and Castiel pulled his needed John job. There would be no place he would go besides Lucifer’s office. He holds it in of course, and as if a reward, Balthazar rolls his eyes towards Crowley. “Of course he is, you bloody git.”

This makes Crowley bristle, and seems to be a good enough reward for Castiel holding his tongue. Crowley shoots a glare at Balthazar before turning his attention back to Castiel, “May we come with you? If each of us are to… critique the Devil, we might as well do it together.”

Balthazar cringes slightly, as if hearing their plan out loud suddenly made it a bad idea. It was a bad idea all together, and this time Castiel spoke, “You are going to  _complain_  to the Devil?” He nearly snarls. Yes, it’s hypocritical of him to be disgusted with the two (Crowley especially), but he can’t help it. Castiel fell with Lucifer; he’s been with him the longest, so if anyone has the option of complaining to the Devil it’s him.

Crowley looks down, and Balthazar has an ashamed look on his face, a look that pulls at Castiel’s heart strings because Balthazar was one of his favorite carnies here, and he shouldn’t be so cruel. Opening his mouth one last time, Castiel sighs, “Let us go, I have an appointment.” He growls out, motioning with his hand for them to follow, and of course they follow.

As they walk Castiel thinks on how he can use this to his advantage. He needs them there to make his request smaller, insignificant to theirs. It would work, hopefully.

* * *

Lucifer’s going through his files when he hears the knocking at the door. He knows exactly who it is before he tells them to come in. He knows exactly what they want, and it agitates him. As the three carnies walk in he pulls out a bottle from his liquor stash. The good thing about Hell? The liquor is stronger, no matter what.

He pours four glasses, two with a tiny more than the other two, Castiel would need it. Lucifer wasn’t going to say yes, and therefore Lucifer himself needed at least another finger of liquor to make the disappointment in Castiel less guilt tripping.

Crowley and Balthazar sit, but Castiel seems to opt to stand, ignoring the third chair against the walk in favor to stand between his coworkers. Lucifer motions for each one to take a glass, and when Crowley tries to take the glass for Castiel, Lucifer glares, making Crowley retract his hand.

Castiel reaches over than and takes the glass, but unlike the other two doesn’t take a sip. Of course he wouldn’t, he and Lucifer knew the deal about alcohol increments, the higher the level, the more Castiel would be disappointed. So the aggravation plastered on Castiel’s face was understandable as he mentally counted the fingers of alcohol Lucifer had placed in his glass.

Lucifer looked away from Castiel, suffocating the little pang of sympathy he felt in his chest. Turning his attention to the one and a half idiots in front of him, he leans forward, taking a sip of his own glass before deciding to take the plunge. “So, what brings you three here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)] [[The Major Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/76262282587/a-musician-with-a-twist-profession-bandleader)] [[Magician Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/76063879700/selling-to-the-highest-bidder)]


	6. Then and Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam.
> 
> beta'd by  [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)

Sam’s first reaction wasn’t to believe it was Dean. Dean had been dead for four years; Sam had carried the casket, he had placed a rose on the glossed wood and held his mother as she cried. He had mourned his brother’s death for years, and hadn’t yet fully gotten over it, but… but that voice was Dean.

So, Sam did a very foolish thing, and went towards his brother’s voice, “Dean where are you?” He calls, listening for a reaction as he passes empty animal cage after empty animal cage.

"On your right!" Dean calls, sounding much closer this time, and turning a corner Sam saw him. It was his older brother. Rushing towards the cage, towards Dean, he started to notice differences about him. His face seemed to be permanently bruised, he looked a little pale and he was wearing an outfit that resembled that of a 50s greaser. Leather jacket, pack of Marbolos sticking out of a pocket, a greasy bandana hanging from his back pocket, yet this was totally Dean. This was his older brother.

"Dean." He lets out happily, reaching a hand into the cage and grasping his brother’s hand.

Dean grins but gives him a look, “Good to know you’re still into the chick flick moments.” He mused, giving his brother’s hand a squeeze before pulling it away. “You don’t happen to have a knife on you by chance, right?” Sam laughs, whether from relief or from Dean changing the subject Sam isn’t even sure himself, and looks for a knife.

It doesn’t take long for him to find one; there’s a throwing dagger on the ground outside of the cage, and upon picking it up, he notices something strange about it. He doesn’t comment on the odd marks on the knife until Dean starts to break the lock. “Dean,” he starts as his brother continues on the lock, giving a noncommittal ‘mmhm?’ as he works. “Why does that dagger have those markings?” Because, yeah, Sam wants to know why ancient, unreadable, Latin is written across the handle and even some of the blade.

Dean doesn’t answer, in his typical way of not answering a question. Instead, he just breaks the lock and slides out of the cage easily, the large metal bars making a horrible crunch sound against the hay. But Sam doesn’t care right now, he’s too wrapped in the fact that his brother is alive! Maybe he didn’t fail his older brother as much as he thought he had.

The moment Dean turns to Sam they actually hug, and yes, this is definitely his brother; no one else can convey this much over-protectiveness through a hug besides Dean. Dean pats Sam on the back as they separate and he smiles proudly, “Good to see you Sammy.” He chuckles, shoving the knife into a small holster on his side before sliding his hands into his front jean pockets. “Though, I didn’t really think you’d end up here.” He admits, shrugging slightly as he watches Sam’s face carefully.

It takes a moment for Sam to process that, but when he does he just has to ask. “Where are we, Dean?” He guesses he still is the little brother, always asking his big brother what’s going on.

"Sammy…." Dean starts, pausing and letting a broken sadness show through his bruised features.

"What’s going on, Dean?" Sam’s heart starts to pick up; Dean never sounds like this unless it’s something really bad.

Dean looks down at the ground, nudging a rock with his foot before looking back up at his brother. “We’re in Hell, Sammy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)]  [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)]


	7. Like Hell You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam.
> 
> beta'd by  [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)

Sam’s blood ran cold the moment Dean spoke the words. Hell? This was Hell? But, it didn’t seem…. evil, not from what he’s seen, not that Dean was here… wait. Sam looked up at Dean, meeting his eyes and giving him what Dean called ‘the classic puppy dog’ face. “But Dean,” he starts tentatively because this could end badly, “if this is Hell… why are you here?”

Dean’s face goes blank, devoid of any emotion, and as normal he doesn’t answer.

Sighing, Sam reaches over and grabs his shoulder, leaning slightly so he’s eye to eye with his brother. “Dean?” Dean moves away from his touch, removing a hand from his pockets to run it through his hair.

“I made a deal, Sam.” He finally states after a moment’s pause, now scratching at the back of his head.

"What?!"

Sam’s mad now, but Dean doesn’t hide away, he just continues. “It’s not bad for me here Sam; I’ve got people. I’ve got a job. I get to take you where you belong.”

That throws Sam for a loop; people? Job? Where did Sam belong? He doesn’t have to speak up about these questions however, because the next moment Dean started to ramble. Sam knew Dean well enough to know that Dean never rambled; not unless he fucked up and needed to explain himself.

"Sam," he starts now, his voice sounding sure but gentle. "I came here four years ago in earth years." With Sam’s weird look Dean explains, "Years move differently here; every earth month is 40 down here." Sam cringes, because doing quick math that’s about 1,980 years down here. But he doesn’t get to say anything, because Dean starts up again, "I was lost; I just kept looking for you; I didn’t remember what happened before my death; I just knew I had to find you." He looks down at his hand, the one that he had taken out to fix his hair, and the wedding ring Mary had given him when she had to get a new one due to carpal-tunnel. "I was so lost, Sammy, but I made— someone helped me. He took me to the ringleader and we made a deal, and I’ve been here ever since, working for Lu- the ringleader, as a carnie, and man… It’s work. I see so many souls walk through here, so many people that deserve it and some that don’t. It’s not bad work Sam; the point isn’t to damn people, it’s to fix them. It just ends up that the final call is the soul’s choice, not our’s."

Sam’s dumbstruck, his brain processing what Dean just said as his brother looked at him hopefully, so damn hopefully. “So, you’re saying you…” Sam pauses because this idea is absurd, “You  _like_  Hell?” He didn’t want to believe it. It was ridiculous, Dean wouldn’t  _like_  Hell.

Dean sighs, nodding his head forward to imply they should start moving, so they do. They walk side by side as Dean thinks of how to reply. It’s during these long silences that Sam wished he could hear what was going in Dean’s mind, because Dean censors what he says to Sam, he always has and always will. Sam knows this, or at least he thinks he does, because the next thing Dean says changes everything.

"I’m in love, Sam."

Sam laughs; he laughs until he has to stop and catch his breath; he laughs until his stomach hurts, but Dean never joins in. Matter of fact, when Sam looks up Dean’s face is nothing short of annoyed.

"You’re joking." Sam states, his voice unbelieving but Dean just shakes his head. The next thing that runs through Sam’s head is panic, because how could Dean fall in love? He never had more than casual fuck buddies, and now he was in love in  _Hell_? How does that happen? Can that happen?

Sam’s pretty sure it can’t, so he goes for what his brain can comprehend better. Maybe Dean’s in love with Hell itself, so he asks just that, “You’re in love with Hell?” He asks in a disbelieving voice.

Dean gawks at that, looking at Sam like he has three heads. “Fuck no!” He shakes his head and kicks at the ground, his face heating up, “I told Cas telling you right away would be a bad idea.” He mutters to himself.

Sam lets out a breath; ok, at least it’s a person or you know… whatever.

There’s a silence between them as they walk, both being left along with their thoughts. It’s not an awkward silence, it’s more of a siblings thing, where they’re comfortable enough to just walk. But Sam’s mind is racing, what did his brother do? And who exactly Cas? How did she steal his brother’s untouchable heart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)]  [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)]


	8. Kill Your Darlings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas.
> 
> beta'd by  [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)

Castiel tore out of Lucifer’s office like a fire storm, his wings flaring and knocking things over. Once again, his brother, his precious elder brother, had fucked him over. He loved Lucifer, don’t get him wrong, but sometimes he was just too much. He looked out for only Castiel and himself; no one else.

All the carnies that were out gave Castiel a wide berth as he stormed down the walkways. And it was a good thing they did, because he didn’t care right now, not since he had been embarrassed by his own fucking brother.

Fuming, he subconsciously made his way to Dean’s performance tent. He knew it would be empty, and he needed to think by himself.

Sitting in the stands, he ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further than its normal Dean-running-his-fingers-through-it mess. This was fucked up. Really fucked up. Leaning forward and placing his head in his hands, he sighed, his fingers gently touching the cracks that marred his skin, cracks he used to hate until Dean placed his warm lips against it and kissed away all the hate. Soft Dean, with rough skin and rough hands, who held Castiel when he had nightmares, who stood by him for a thousand and promised a thousand more.

"Fuck." He growls, his voice scaring him in the silence. He let out a merciless chuckle; he had never cursed before meeting Dean, but now he had a whole new vocabulary. Dean had really affected Castiel, for the good and for the bad. But now, Lucifer wanted him to do this, this horrible thing.

Castiel leaned back, looking up at the wheel that lay stagnant in the center of the tent. It sat there mocking him silently, waiting for the next performance, the final performance. How was he going to do this? How could Lucifer ask him to do this? How does one even kill a Winchester?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] 


	9. Shadow Takes All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bela's POV.
> 
> beta'd by the beautiful [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)
> 
> [[Song: Beautiful Stranger](http://youtu.be/rS_z8odi2t8)]

The deal seemed simple enough, all Bela had to do was throw coins into an egg; if she got one of the four coins in she would win the diamond. But Bela was a thief, she was a con, and she knew the ropes. This was going to be more difficult than the carnie with the reptile skin led on.

Sure enough, he pulls out a grey egg only a little bigger than an ostrich and removes the four golden coins from it, a sly grin on his face. “These games are rigged.” Bela stated suddenly, crossing her arms and sending a condescending look towards the carnie.

The carnie, to his credit, just smiles, looking completely at ease with her judgment. “Are you saying that you, the great Bela Talbot, wouldn’t be able to outsmart me?”

If Bela took a moment to breathe, she might have realized that this carnie had been playing her from the very beginning, but she didn’t and she let her pride get in the way. “It can’t be that hard.” She says with a clipped tone, holding her hands out for the coins. The carnie obliged, pouring the coins into Bela’s opened palms.

Inspecting the coins, Bela noticed their origins; no coin had been made like this in thousands of years. They weren’t even made by machine, but instead by hand; they were ancient. It was then that the all too human trait kicked in once again, doubt.

"What happens if I lose?" She questions, considering just taking the coins and calling it quits.

The carnie just keeps on smiling smugly, passing the egg from hand to hand as he talks, “The shadow takes all.”

Well, what the fuck was that supposed to mean? Looking once more at the coins, Bela made a decision. The flask was nice, and the coins would bring her a pretty penny, but that diamond? Countries would fight over it; they’d fight over her. She wanted it, no matter the cost.

Nodding, Bela sealed her fate as the carnie’s face turned into one of complete pompousness. “Let’s light this candle!” He chuckles and while Bela only looks down for a second, when she looks back up he’s no longer scaly; he is no longer green or even a male.

He’s her. He looks exactly like Bela, but in the same clothing as he was wearing before. It throws her for a loop at first, but his smile conveys that he does it all the time, and well, this place was weird.

"Neat trick." She smiles, as if Bela could disarm him with her kindness. It didn’t work, but he seemed to be amused by it.

Bela turns her attention back to the game, to the egg in the doppelganger’s hands, and starts to line up the shot. As she works the carnie starts to sway as he hums, his voice sounding exactly like hers.

_ Reckless creatures_  
 _ Always want another find_  
 _ Stealing features,_  
 _ Each a diamond to be mined_

_ There are facets to snake_  
 _ And crooks in our necks_  
 _ We’re like moths to the flame_  
 _ Get ready and set_  
 _ Now tarry no longer_  
 _ Let’s burn one another_  
 _ We’re one and we’re twain_  
 _ Now let’s play a game_

Bela misses with her first shot, cursing to herself and trying to ignore the distractions around her. What she doesn’t expect is for a man, the same man from before with the painted clown face, to come up behind her and rip off her jacket. She’s startled, understandably so, but by the time she turns he is gone. Lining up once more she focuses on the game, totally missing the story the carnie is singing teasingly.

_ High stakes, three shakes, no breaks_  
 _ Triple the wager_  
 _ Three clicks in the chamber_  
 _ Three chances to claim her_

_ By the book, by hook, by rook_  
 _ Shadow takes all, my pet_  
 _ My, what a strange duet_  
 _ Shadow takes all_

Another missed shot, and now Bela’s starting to panic, because she knows what’s coming. The man, the clown who dresses like a hobo, appears once more out of the darkness and this time removes her jewelry in one swift motion, dangling it in front of her like some kind of bait before backing away into the darkness. If she misses again, she knows he’ll be back for more, and this time there’s nothing to take but the clothing on her back.

She gives a look to the singing carnie in front of her, his features beyond amused with her failures. This time he sings strongly:

_ Cunning creatures_  
 _ Slither front and slither back_  
 _ Double dealers_  
 _ Double-up for the attack_

_ I could say that I’m hurt_  
 _ But it wouldn’t be true_  
 _ The knife in my back_  
 _ It reminds me of you_  
 _ You’re my beautiful stranger_  
 _ The game is afoot_  
 _ It’s the shadow’s domain_  
 _ So don’t pussyfoot_  
 **_ Shoot!_ **

She throws when he nearly screams “shoot” instead of singing it like he had on everything else. It had scared her, and she had thrown the coin on reaction. Horrified by her own actions, she watches as the coin sails threw the air, missing the egg’s opening by a hair’s breadth.

Bela knows what’s coming next; she feels the Hobo Clown’s hands ripping her dress off, the only thing left in her possession. She has one more coin, only one more, and this time the doppelganger is grinning, sharing a look with the Hobo Clown as he nearly dances into the darkness.

Her copy looks directly at her as Bela throws the last coin, another automatic reaction as a last-ditch effort.

It failed.

Bela doesn’t feel the Hobo Clown this time, she feels the shadows themselves pulling her into them, taking her somewhere else. Panicking, she looks up at the carnie running the games booth, the one that had been her Twin. He no longer looked like her, but is once again himself. He gives her a small smile and places the egg down, leaning against the counter as he chuckles out, “The Shadow takes all.”

Then there is darkness, complete shadow surrounding her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Bela Talbot Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75094239413/nothing-but-aces-attendee-bela-talbot-sin)] [[Hobo Clown Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75850083480/with-a-little-bit-of-fangs-and-fun)] [[The Twin Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75947675454/run-and-hide-heavens-rogue)] 
> 
>  
> 
> Just so you know, this is not in anyway rape or sexual of any nature, they are taking away the only thing she loves, money.


	10. Shiny Red Pennies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bela's POV.
> 
> Possible trigger warnings, but do not take it sexually as it is not meant that way.
> 
> beta'd by [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)
> 
> [[Song: A Penny For a Tale](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vy6MTq2P9g)]

When Bela finally knows what’s going on, she feels cold metallic chains against her wrists, hears people whispering, and sees nothing but darkness. That is, until the flood lights turn on.

Her surroundings are suddenly dipped in red, the man with the whip is there again, his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. Bela’s insides turn; she had broken rules, and now? Now she couldn’t run away like she always did. Her insides struggle to be out, but she holds it down. She holds it down long enough to hear a man speak.

She turns her head to see the man. It’s the Hobo Clown from before, standing in the middle of the tent with two large flood lights on him. He grins at the crowd and they cheer. “Let me tell you a tale for a penny, one that you cannot hear anywhere else.” He speaks in a singsong fashion, his voice is thick with a Southern accent, one Bela knows probably originated in Louisiana. He grins at the crowd, motioning towards Bela once as he continues, this time his words coming out almost like a song.

_ I heard from a birdy_   
_ It doesn’t end purdy_   
_ It doesn’t end well_   
_ No it never ends well_

He chuckles, the man with the whip giving him a curt nod before unraveling the whip in one quick motion and striking Bela’s back.

Pain bursts from her back and she cries out; it feels like dogs, like giant dogs are clawing at her skin, and it was only one hit. How was she supposed to survive this?

_ Let me spin you a yarn for a cent_   
_ Lord, would it not be a sin_   
_ For you to deny yourselves_   
_ A tale_

The clown moves around the tent, talking and embellishing on movements, all the while Bela’s back being hit again and again.

_ There once was a doggy _   
_ She pranced in the moon_   
_ With a mouth full of_   
_ Shiny red pennies_   
_ She leapt and she wagged_   
_ So proud of her_   
_ Shiny red pennies_

Despite the fact that Bela’s back stings like hornets raked their stingers against it, she listens to the song, distracting herself from the pain.

_ She trotted by the river_   
_ And, oh, bless my soul_   
_ She saw her_   
_ Reflection in the water_   
_ A pup with a jaw full_   
_ Of shiny red_   
_ Pennies in the water_   
_ She trotted as she plotted_   
_ To pirate those pennies_

The crowd awed then, not for Bela, but for the story the clown was weaving. Bela knew this tale well, they had been all the rage in her grade school classrooms. She knew what was coming next, and she gritted her teeth as the whip landed once again on her back.

_ But greedy, so greedy_   
_ She snarled as she swiped_   
_ And struck at the_   
_ Mutt in the water_   
_ A foolish pooch loots_   
_ From herself in the water_   
_ Her reflection struck back_

Another whip mark to add to the collection, while the clown and the rest of the carnies concentrate on the story being told. Just before bowing her head, she notices someone out of the corner of her eye: the Ticket Keeper. Unlike the other carnies here, he doesn’t seem to enjoy the pain, but instead of being disgusted he just looks disappointed, as if he’s disappointed in her. Bela doesn’t have time to think on it for long, because the whip continues to attack her back.

_ And so did our doggy _   
_ She’d kill for a bite_   
_ At those shiny red pennies_   
_ She leapt and she barked_   
_ At the dog in the water_

Nearly screaming at this hit, Bela bites her lip until it bleeds. She knows she can’t take much more, and the clown seems to be towards the end of his tune, the crowd energized as the music from a mysterious band picks up.

_ But her pennies_   
_ Her pennies_   
_ They dropped_   
_ Down, down_   
_ After them she shot_   
_ Down, down_   
_ Down in the waters below …_

Bela’s vision starts to blur, her back hot from the whips and the blood she is sure is rolling down her back in waves. The last thing she remembers is that heat. She peers over at the singing clown and the crowd sitting nearby, at her Twin who sat in the crowd with an amused look on his face, watching the clown. She shared one look with him, his eyes gleaming as if he knew something, before the clown belted out the final line of his song.

"God rest her soul!"

Bela falls to the floor, tired and exhausted. The last thing she thinks is, at least the whipping stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Bela Talbot Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75094239413/nothing-but-aces-attendee-bela-talbot-sin)] [[Hobo Clown Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75850083480/with-a-little-bit-of-fangs-and-fun)] [[The Twin Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75947675454/run-and-hide-heavens-rogue)] [[Tamer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75191339795/empty-shell-animated-corpse-carnie-the)]


	11. Halfway House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny Lafitte's POV
> 
> beta'd by [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)

The crowd dissipates shortly after the song, having their own duties to care for. Soon enough all that is left is the Cain, Gabriel, and Benny himself.

Flipping his hat back onto his head, he walks over to Gabriel, a small smile on his lips. He opens his mouth to talk, but Gabriel, per-normal, cuts him off, “Wonderful performance.” He chuckles, shoving his hands into his pockets as he grins up at Benny.

Benny’s not stupid, while Gabriel is a couple inches shorter than himself he knows the little carnie has a wild mean streak. Some would call it cruel, but Benny considered it strong. He got his point across.

"Thank you." Benny grinned as both of them, as if on cue, turned and started towards Cain. Everyone at the carnival knew Cain by his first name, though no one called him officially by it. It was always ‘The Tamer,’ nothing personal.

It was Gabriel who spoke up as Cain unlocked the cuffs around Bela’s hands. “She dead?”

Cain snorts and gives him a look; of course she was. She had to be, otherwise she would be left there. Benny’s eyes raked over Bela’s back, not for any pleasure, but to judge the wounds inflicted upon her. There were none, there was no blood, there was no marks. It was clean skin, whole. Pain in the Devil’s Carnival was always in one’s head, unless you were a carnie.

Kicking a dirt rock Benny spoke up in the silence that formed, which were always awkward if Cain was involved. “She goin' all the way back to the beginnin'?” It was always the question of the dead. Some attendees after their death were placed in different areas around the carnival. Some attendees were even lucky enough to start in the carnival, with no need for a ticket.

Cain leans back on his heels, shooting Benny a look before speaking in that clipped, gruff tone he had. “That’s apparently where the boss wants her.” He shrugs, standing up completely to survey the body. “Seems like she didn’t learn anything from her first stop.” He nearly spits these words out, and Benny understands. Out of everyone in the carnival no one really hated the attendees, not even Cain. They were just annoying, continuously needing their bodies carted around to a new spot so they could learn their lesson with a new twist.

Gabriel speaks up now, something he rarely does around Cain, “Are we keeping her naked?” He asks with a tone to suggest he’s rather hoping not. Cain shrugs again and Gabriel rolls his eyes. “Well, I’ll take the liberty to save this dead woman.” He states as if he’s the next great thing, and, with a snap of his fingers, Bela is completely clothed.

Benny waits for the joke, Gabriel doesn’t disappoint. “You know, normally I can snap my fingers and women just lose their clothing. Do you think it’s Opposite Day?”

Benny can’t help but crack a smile, Cain stays emotionless, making Gabriel slightly uncomfortable. Benny, being the saving grace he is, cuts the silence off before it can get too awkward. “Well then, I think it’s time we move her, before she wakes up.”

Cain nods at that, and both of them lower themselves just enough as to pick up the body. As they exit, Benny notices Gabriel disappearing off into the shadows, probably looking around for more trouble to cause.

Pushing this out of his mind, Benny turns his attention back to Cain and the dead woman. There was never an exact time for when the soul would stop randomly soaring around and she would wake up, but it usually happened after all the attendees ‘reset’. Judging by who happened to be there tonight, two Winchesters and Bela, Benny knew it would probably take some time.

After all, he’s best friends with a Winchester, and damn, they never give up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Bela Talbot Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75094239413/nothing-but-aces-attendee-bela-talbot-sin)] [[Hobo Clown Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75850083480/with-a-little-bit-of-fangs-and-fun)] [[The Twin Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75947675454/run-and-hide-heavens-rogue)] [[Tamer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75191339795/empty-shell-animated-corpse-carnie-the)]


	12. Love Makes You do Crazy Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's POV
> 
> beta'd by [twinkletoedean](twinkletoedean.tumblr.com)

The carnival seems empty as Sam and Dean walk together. Sam’s mind is racing, trying to comprehend exactly what had happened to Dean in the last four years. They pass empty booths and opened tents, silence filling the air.

Scanning the area, Sam finally speaks up, “So if this is hell…” He gives Dean a sideways glance, “does that mean the Devil is here?”

Dean gives a small laugh at that, nodding his head, “Yeah, he’s real Sammy.” He stares straight forward as he continues, “He’s pretty cool, listens to good bands, drinks strong liquor, doesn’t take shit from anyone.” He shrugs slightly, looking downward, “He’s extremely intuitive, which is a good and bad trait. He’s over protective of his little brother, so he understood where I was coming from when I first got here.” Dean turns to Sam, squinting slightly as lights flare around them.

Sam nods, as if that would help him digest all of this, “So…” He can’t believe he’s saying this, “the Devil isn’t bad?”

Dean lets out a snort, rolling his eyes, “He’s not the conventional bad you’d expect. Kinda just puts his lot with the risk takers.”

"I can see why you like him." Sam teases, gaining a sly smile from Dean.

"Yeah," Dean chuckles out, pausing before turning a corner in the carnival, and stopping at a bunch of barrels, as if they were waiting for something. Clearing his throat, he gestures to the barrel next to him for Sam to sit, which he does, looking expectantly at Dean.

"Sammy…" Dean starts, his voice gentle but strong, "You know that I can tell you anything, but I’ve been planning this for the last four years and now I don’t know what to even tell you." He admits, sheepish towards the end. "There’s only a couple carnies you can personally trust here; me, this man who looks like a Hobo Clown, and a man who comes across like a Painted Doll. Alright?"

Sam nods, in no mood to argue. He knows this is hard for Dean; shit, he’s been with these people for what probably seems like forever. Dean taps his foot against one of the barrels, “To get out of here…” He licks his lips slowly, nervous as all hell, “you have to let go of whatever got you here. A sin, your cardinal sin, whatever it is.” He shrugs, “You also need Lucifer’s consent. After all, everyone in here is basically owned by him.”

Sam’s head shoots up at that, shock and anger crossing his face. “So, you’re owned by him?”

Dean, as classic Dean would do, laughs and covers it up with a joke, “Actually, I’m kinda owned by Cas.” Sam rolls his eyes at that, getting tired of his brother beating around the bush.

"But, the Devil technically owns you correct?” And maybe his voice is clipped, maybe it comes out more aggravated than he intended but come on his brother’s soul belongs to the Devil. What’s right with that picture?

Dean runs his temples, shifting his weight slightly. “Technically. But, I signed a different contract than the rest. It’s different for me.”

"How?!" Sam nearly shouts, his blood boiling, causing Dean to cringe. It takes a moment for Dean to open his mouth to talk, but the moment he does there’s a whistle from somewhere, attracting Dean’s attention.

It’s funny, when Sam thinks on this later, that Dean wants to fix things, wants to make life better for Sam, but the moment his own life is taken into consideration he covers it up with jokes or running away. He does the latter now. “Sammy, I need you to stay here, ok?”

It wasn’t okay, and Dean seems to get that by the look Sam gives him, but he doesn’t back down. “I’m serious Sam. I’ll be right back.” He starts to back up, watching to make sure Sam stays on the barrels he had sat on.

For his part, Sam doesn’t move until Dean turns a corner, but the moment he does, Sam’s up and on his way after Dean. He keeps his eye on the spiked hair, and leather jacket, but with all these tents it’s hard to. What actually enables Sam to follow Dean isn’t Dean himself, but rather the clicking of a lighter and the smell of tobacco that lingers wherever Dean has been.

Another thing to question Dean about; he knew he used to smoke in high school, part of his bad boy image and all, but when you’re in hell do you really need to keep up with childish personas? But then again, maybe Dean needed it now, Sam knew that their dad was a smoker back in the day, and after Dean’s death he had picked it back up, so maybe it just ran in the family.

Sam loses the trail than, lost in his own thoughts, and in the dirty colored canvas of tents. Turning around, he tries to find his brother. It’s his childhood all over again, but this time mom and dad aren’t here to cling to. Sam closes his eyes, one of the tricks his parents had taught him when he was little. Listening, Sam knew that Dean couldn’t be too far off, he would wait here until he heard him. He’d find Dean eventually, after all, he had found him in hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)]  [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)]


	13. The Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

Dean loves Sam, he really does, but he doesn’t want to answer _those_ questions. Ask him about the food, about the sleeping conditions, about how serious poker nights get, ask him anything, anything except what’s going to happen to his soul. That’s why he’s glad he has Cas, his guardian angel, who just saved him the trouble of explaining himself.

Pulling a drag from the cigarette that sat between his lips he continued to walk, making sure to throw Sam off the scent by going in circles. At one point he was walking behind Sam and he didn’t even notice.

Turning into his performance tent, Dean relaxed. There were three places in the carnival where he could always feel safe, here in his tent, his and Castiel’s personaltent and Benny’s little bungalow. Of course, wherever Castiel was is better than anywhere else, so maybe that was the reason behind his shoulders relaxing. Castiel was there, standing in the flood light with a gentle, sad look on his face.

Something was up, Dean knew it automatically, you didn’t spend 1,884 years with someone without knowing their mannerisms, their wordless language, especially if you loved them.

Throwing his nearly finished cigarette to the ground and smudging it out with his boot, Dean walked towards Castiel. “What’s wrong?”

Castiel said nothing, his face becoming more shadowed and worrisome. The moment Dean was in reach he grabbed at him, causing Dean to stumble slightly into him, their mouths bumping together rather than kissing. That changed the moment Dean gathered his footing, suddenly Castiel’s hands were all over him, warm fingers sliding under his jacket and shirt, pressing into the softer skin under Dean’s ribcage. Castiel’s kisses weren’t the normal teasing or playful kind he would give when they found each other between performances, this was real, this was hot and heavy and just _possessive_. Castiel’s lips worked Dean’s open, filling him with hot breath and a warm tongue.

Dean didn’t stop it, he didn’t want to, he didn’t stop until a soft sob sound broke from Castiel’s throat. “Babe.” Dean mumbled into Castiel’s mouth, placing his hands on either side of Castiel’s face so he couldn’t look away. Castiel stopped the onslaught of affection and pulled away, his eyes looking anywhere but Dean’s eyes.

Dean shifted his head lower so that he could look Castiel in the eyes. How did he not notice this before? How could he have missed this much pain? Dean’s heart rate suddenly sped up, something really was wrong, horribly wrong by the glossiness to Castiel’s eyes. “What happened?” Dean asked softly, his own possessiveness shining through.

Castiel didn’t answer and instead rested his forehead against Dean’s, which he allowed. Any sort of comfort might help Castiel and he would give it, any and all of it.

"You have to talk to me, Cas. I want to help." Dean spoke up again when Castiel stayed silent. A sob rattled out of Castiel which was almost mistaken for a laugh and he placed his lips against the crown of Dean’s cheek, where the most freckles resided.

Letting out a shaky sigh, heat kissing Dean’s skin, Castiel finally spoke up for the first time, “I love you, you know that right?”

Dean nodded shortly, unwilling to break the small physical contact they did have. “I know.” He breathes, careful of his words so not to break Castiel even more.

Castiel nods a little at that, closing his eye and sucking in a breath, “You know I will do anything for you, correct?”

Dean doesn’t like the sound of this, his heart is pounding so hard at this moment he can’t breathe properly, “Yes but Cas…” He rubs his thumb in soft circles on Castiel’s temple, knowing that usually helps him calm down. “What’s going on, I can help! I promise...”

Castiel pulls away, a cold laugh escaping his lips, something sounding so desperate for that to be true he couldn’t entertain the thought, “Not on this Dean, I can’t ask you to do this.”

"What is it Cas? God dammit, we can fix it!" Dean’s grew agitated in his panic, this wasn’t like Cas, he was normally so calm and collected but this attitude...

Castiel’s shoulders slumped slightly, as if giving up all together, “I can’t tell you.”

"Why the **_fuck_** not?!" Dean watches as Castiel jumps at the venom in his voice, the slight panic in his eyes and the heartbreak that followed. “I…I—” He sighs, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “Can I please just… kiss you again?” He sounds so destroyed now, his voice cracking like that one time Lucifer had said it was impossible for them to get married in hell. Castiel had screamed until he had been blue in the face, he kept his wings out for weeks after that and didn’t talk to Lucifer for a good hell-year.

That’s what this reminded him off, that make-it or break-it part of their relationship. That tipping point that would alter things for the worse or the better. So Dean sighed, knowing this wasn’t going to get anywhere. A person could torture Castiel and he still wouldn’t talk, he was that stubborn.

"Come here." He murmured gently, opening his arms for Castiel. Cas didn’t think twice as their bodies met, as warmth turned into heat.

"I love you..." Castiel whispered softly, muffled into his chest while Dean wrapped his arms around him, surrounding him in warm leather and the distinct smell of cigarettes.

"I love you too." Dean mumbled, placing small kisses onto Castiel’s hair line and the other man buried his head into Dean’s neck. It was true of course, even when he was alive Dean never felt as complete as he did when he and Castiel were wrapped around each other late at night. He had ever felt more important than when Castiel growled out his name as they moved in the darkness, planting kisses all over each other’s skin and singing hymns of pleasure. Castiel was Dean’s life, he had made a deal with Lucifer to stay in hell because of Sammy but now, he wouldn’t leave even if Lucifer wanted him too. He would hold his ground next to Castiel until the world ended and he knew Castiel would to the same.

Moving his head slightly Dean’s lips met with Castiel’s breathing him in and drinking him down like he was life itself. Castiel didn’t seem to mind, not in the slightest. His own movements were needy and Dean could feel Castiel moving his hands under Dean’s shirt and running them gently over the skin, thumb outlining the circular scar left from the bullet that took his life, over the slightly scarred skin from Dean’s tattoo.

Castiel’s hands had mapped out Dean’s skin a long time ago, kissing soft spots and indents but he never stopped loving Dean’s body, for reasons unclear to Dean himself. He had once asked Castiel and Castiel had laughed long into the night, stating how sometimes the most important things come in beautiful packages. Dean had made a joke at that and Castiel’s laughter became so loud that Crowley (who was more than four tents away) had come over to tell them to shut up. They had really loud sex that night just to piss him off.

This was different now, they weren’t acting like teenagers here, this kind of touch was something much more desperate, pained almost and Castiel’s lips never stopped working at Dean’s mouth. He could tear Dean down and built him back up just with those lips. Dean often thanked the bullshit bastards for fucking up just so he could have Castiel, and he always followed that up with a threat.

Castiel’s free hand, the one that had been permanently placed on Dean’s shoulder moved up towards Dean’s neck and behind his head, holding him in place and the kisses got deeper. Dean, allowing himself to be swept away from thought, wormed a hand between Castiel’s cracked chest and the fabric covering it, his hand sliding to the back where the tattoo had it’s permanent residence. While Castiel’s wings were tucked away they were painted onto his back in tattoo ink, always there under the surface. Their beauty doesn’t compare to that the actual appendages, but to feel the slightly bumpy skin etched on Castiel’s back was enough to remind Dean of how his lover was an angel. His angel and no one else’s.

Dean was so far gone in the feeling of Castiel he didn’t hear the gentle _’swoosh’_ of the tent curtain moving, he completely missed the sound of boots on hay and wood chips. What he didn’t miss was the very confused, very small, “Uhh…Dean?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)] [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]


	14. Ain't That a Kick in the Head?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

It doesn’t take long for Sam to hear something that leads him towards Dean. He can hear mumbled talking at first but the closer he listens as it grows more heated, hearing Dean’s voice in the mix.

              "God dammit we can fix it!"

That doesn’t sound good, Sam knows his brother and the way his voice sounds isn’t good. He sounds stressed and above it all, worried. Sam hears another voice, deeper with emotion but he can’t really place it and he doesn’t have to because as he gets closer he hears Dean’s voice explode.

            "Why the _**fuck**_ not?!"

Sam than makes an executive decision and looks around for a seat. He sits down at one of the stools of a closed games booth, just out of ear shot.

Whomever Dean is fighting with is important, or it’s about something important, because he never sounds like this. Dean hasn’t sounded this heartbroken since Sam had told him he wanted to go to a college half the country away. A month after that Dean had been shot...

That wasn’t a good place for Sam to go and he knew it so instead he was content to just look around. The part of the carnival they lived in was towards the rear, where the tents are closer, the alleyways between the sectioned areas, slim and only meant for those who know what they’re doing. Even the game booth Sam’s at right has obviously been out of commission for a while, an old relic incapable of being removed. He observes the cracked leather of the stool and runs a finger over the broken seams.

Drowning out the yelling in the tent, Sam focuses on the carnival itself. Interesting, that out of all the things the Devil could have picked he made Hell into carnival. If Sam was a braver man he might have asked the Devil exactly why he chose this. Was it because carnivals took in those who were unwanted? Those who were of lower morality? But Sam thinks on this and knows that’s just a stereotype and feels a bit insulted for the Devil. Sam smirks, feeling bad for stereotyping the Devil, now that was a new one.

But this thought brought him to another idea entirely, what was the Devil like? Dean himself had stated the Devil wasn’t all that bad. Of course it could just be the fact that Dean had spent enough time down here that his perception had been warped but… that wasn’t like Dean. So it brought up the question of what exactly had the Devil done to make Dean respect him?

His mind whirring, Sam almost missed the silence that had replaced the conversation in the tent a couple yards away. Sam’s head snapped up at this time, he hoped Dean hadn’t left the tent and went looking for him because he had moved. Or what if Dean was running away from Sam now and he had left the tent and the area all together? It would take forever to find him in this place, the winding carnival alleys going on forever.

Standing up, he made his way towards the tent, and hearing nothing from within the thin canvas Sam pulled the flap away and walked in, careful of where he was stepping.

In all honesty Sam expected one of two things when he walked in there, either Dean was gone or he was sitting and moping. What he wasn’t expecting was to see his brother locking lips with a man with dark hair, a cracked face and a dirty trench coat. He was shocked, completely and totally shocked, because first of all Dean was making out with another _man_ and well… this man had to be Cas, the one that had stolen his brother’s heart. But it just didn’t match up, Sam was the bisexual one in the family. Dean had no problem back in the day when they were both living, but he had said once he couldn’t imagine kissing a man ever. He had said that and then gone to a bar and gotten piss drunk, stumbling back home at two in the morning. Come to think of it, Dean had seemed pretty off that day, but Sam had just thought it had to do with the fact he had still been getting over Lisa at the time.

Sam clears his throat, the two kissing seeming not to hear him, touching and kissing in almost pornographic ways and he _really_ didn’t need to see this. “Uh… Dean?” He finally speaks up, causing Dean to almost get whiplash as he whipped his head around.

Sam has never, _ever_ seen his brother turn so red so quickly. He should see if he could try as find a small trophy to give to Dean because it’s hilarious. Turning his attention towards the man with the dark hair and cracked skin, he was handsome, he’d give Dean kudos for good taste but he looked a little too serious. The only emotion that showed was the tips of his ears were a light pink, expressing some sort of embarrassment at being caught making out with his… boyfriend? Was Dean his boyfriend?

Turning his attention back to Dean, Sam grinned largely, getting ready to tease his brother, “Is this your boyfriend Dean?”

To his credit Dean didn’t deny it, he just nodded, “Yeah, something like that.” He cleared his throat and looked up at the man next to him and Sam has to admit they’re kinda cute and he could see the way they gravitate towards each other, the way they gently brush each other without realizing it. Dean moves forward with the man by his side the whole time. “Sam, this is Castiel, my partner. Cas, this is my little brother Sammy.”

Of course Dean would introduce Sam as Sammy, he’d never escape that nickname, not even if he was 90, which he supposes can never happen now. Sam smiles though, and extends a hand, “It’s nice to meet you.” He greets kindly as Castiel takes his hand and firmly shakes it.

"It’s a pleasure to finally meet the all too famous Sam Winchester." He states coolly, his voice rougher than he expected for a man who was about five inches shorter than Sam himself.

He could see Dean watching the both of them carefully, his fingers playing with a lighter as if in a nervous habit and Sam separated himself from Castiel, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. 

Looking around the tent, Sam notices the apparent main attraction, “What’s that?” He questions with a nod towards the wheel in the middle of the room.

Dean chuckles, a cocky smile forming on his lips as he pulls a dagger out of his holster. Without looking back be manages to throw it into the dead center of the smallest painted circle with incredible skill. “It’s my act.” He grins, “You want to see?”

Sam laughs at that, his brother was so excited and proud of himself he couldn’t help but say yes.

As he climbed up onto the wheel and was strapped in he failed to notice the look on Castiel’s face, if he had maybe things would have been different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)] [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]


	15. Easy Come, Easy Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

Dean didn’t even notice, that was the worst part for Castiel. He was too excited to show off to his little brother to catch Castiel taking the switch blade out of his back pocket.

As Sam and Dean set up, joking all the while, Castiel stood on the sidelines near Sam. Shrugging off his jacket, he watched as Dean did his routine, knife next to stomach, knife between legs, knife towards head. The whole while he and his brother laughed, unaware of the deal Castiel had made.

“See Sammy? I’m the best knife thrower here,” Dean jokes, twirling the last knife in his fingers with a cocky smile on his face, “none of these sons of bitches bother me when I got my knives."

Sam laughs at that, shaking his head and grinning at Dean, “You like to flatter yourself don’t you?” He teases, making a face at Dean which causes Dean to laugh again.

"Shut up, Sammy." Dean grins throwing the last knife towards the right side of Sam’s face and missing him like Dean knew he would.

Sam’s face fell for a second but the moment he realized it missed, he burst out laughing.

Both brothers were so involved in their merriment they paid no mind to Castiel, who moved toward Sam. They didn’t hear the silent _’swick’_ of the knife snapping open. They didn’t notice until Castiel was looking up at Sam with the most pained expression splayed on his features.

It was Dean who spoke first. “Cas, what’re you doing?” He asked, his voice sobering quickly.

Castiel ignored him and looked up into the innocent eyes of Sam, he looked like a little boy, like someone who’s best friend just stole his favorite action figure. “…I’m so sorry Sam…” He whispered as he slipped the short blade deep into Sam’s chest.

Dean’s screams of protest filled the air as Sam’s last breath rattled from his lungs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)] [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]


	16. Caught in the Crossroads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[John Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74989936059/im-looking-for-my-wife-attendee-john)] [[The Tamer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75191339795/empty-shell-animated-corpse-carnie-the)] [[Ticket Keeper Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75106769184/order-makes-us-forget-the-sins-of-our-past)]

The farther John walked into the carnival the more he was sure Mary wasn’t there, she never would have gone to a place like this. It was too sinful, too disturbed. With that in his mind John set course to find her somewhere, anywhere else.

Walking through the carnival he passed several people, a man with a lizard face, another with a red clown nose who carried something just out of view. One more passed who was playing with a rat. All these people were carnies, it was obvious by the ease they carried themselves and they all disgusted John. He was just sick of this place with its bizarre rules and even stranger people.

John’s determination is what brought him to the end of the carnival, he’s not even sure how he got there, but he found himself very alone. Before him stood a door with various exit signs in a multitude of fonts and sizes. Blocking the way, however, was a set of velvet roped stanchion.

Fed up with it all, John unclipped the golden clasp and brushes his way through, having every intention to leave, but the moment he steps forward he hears the sound of glass breaking. Turning to look behind him he sees the man from the very start, brandishing a mace with a grave expression on his face. Beside him is the Ticket Keeper, looking equally grave but not as murderous.

It’s the Ticket Keeper that speaks first, his voice as dark as his expression, “No cutting line sir, it’s a rule.”

Finally, John’s had it, even with the bigger man threatening him with the mace, “I have to find my wife and I know you people won’t help me!”

The threatening man takes a step towards him but the Ticket Keeper holds up a hand to stop them. Shaking his head Ticket Keeper turns his attention back towards John and after some deliberation he speaks up. “Sometimes, to recover something that is lost, one has to simply retrace their steps.”

With that, he motioned toward the exit, a small sympathetic smile touching his lips. John pauses, giving him an appreciative nod and he turns his back on them.

As John ventures beyond the curtain, the Ticket Keeper turns towards the Tamer. He knows that this wasn’t the best idea he’s had but sometimes you have to give the Devil his due.


	17. Giving the Devil His Due

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

Lucifer had just gotten Balthazar and Crowley out of his office when John Winchester starts on his way in. As he nears Lucifer’s office Lucifer pulls out another glass, filling it with his always-beloved whiskey because the Devil isn’t a cheap man, no matter what anyone says.

As he waited for the door to open Lucifer propped his feet on the desk, watching as the confused man stumbles in. While Lucifer knows every attendee, while he knows where and what they’re doing he doesn’t know what they look like, he never sees their souls or their actual bodies until they’re standing before him. John Winchester therefore is an interesting case. His soul, much like that of Dean’s, is covered in scars of self hate and loathing but beneath that it is filled with love and determination. It's very fascinating to see another Winchester, to be able to compare them.

"Who the hell are you?" John asks in an aggravated tone, obviously done with Lucifer's personal playground. Lucifer laughs at that, nodding his head towards the glass on the desk, "I'm what they would call the ringmaster." He watches with amusement as John walks closer, inspecting the glass as if it were a bomb. Eventually John picks it up, sniffing at it slightly, which made Lucifer smirk in amusement.

"Sit." Lucifer orders and John concedes, sitting in the same seat Dean had once sat in so many years ago. Things don’t change much, do they?

"Where’s my wife?" John speaks up, sending a judging look at Lucifer, as he should, because Lucifer isn’t exactly looking his best today. He had given up on covering his marks a long time ago, his skin showing the imperfections of his grace.

Placing his hands behind his head, Lucifer shrugs, “She’s not here.” John’s back straightens at that and he nods to himself, digesting this new information. “Where is she then?”

This is where they come to a crossroads. Lucifer is aware that two of the three attendees are ‘out of commission’ which means this is the last loose end. But Castiel had come in here less than two hours ago spewing hell fire onto Lucifer, demanding that he not only let John go, but that Lucifer cannot expect Dean to kill his own brother, the very one he had died for all those years ago.  
Lucifer had given Castiel an ultimatum, either allow John to rot here for eternity and Sam would get to go to heaven without realizing his lesson or John would get a one-on-one with Lucifer himself and Sam would have to be killed by a carnie, any carnie. Castiel had chosen the latter, of course, it was the most fair. It affected all the Winchester’s equally, never damning one in particular. Castiel was in love with Dean and therefore wanted to make him happy, and what was better than saving his family from the very hell he had so willingly thrown himself into?

Like Dean, John didn’t like long unanswered pauses, “I swear to God if you did something to-“

Lucifer’s legs fell off the table and his hand came crashing down onto the hard surface, his other hand pointing directly at John. “Watch your tongue!” He growled, silencing John. “I am not in the business of murdering the innocent, that’s God’s jurisdiction.” His voice is level but stern enough to keep John quiet, “I deal only in the guilty.”

Gaze pointed at John, he leaned back into his chair. When John spoke next his voice was quieter, filled with a hidden emotion. “What happened to her?”

Of course he would ask that, “Don’t you remember John?” Lucifer inquired, voice nearly teasing, “How rainy that night was when she stormed out of the house?” Lucifer stopped his explanation, observing him as John remembered.

He had followed Mary out in his car, and because of this he watched from a front row seat as her small rabbit was plowed into a tree by an eighteen wheeler. John had desperately tore at the mess of metal around his wife as both Mary’s car and the eighteen wheel started to leak gasoline. Lucifer watched as John remembered the explosion, as he remembered fire engulfing the entire scene, killing all three witnesses and destroying a good amount of land.

Two of the three participants had gone to Heaven, and one was stuck here.

Silence filled the room as John bowed his head and held it in his hands, quietly mourning his mistakes. He looked so defeated and his soul shone in guilt, a sign that Lucifer would normally relish in. But now? Now that he felt Sam’s soul leave the body, as he felt the pure emotional destruction both Castiel and Dean were facing he felt wrong in condemning another soul. Another Winchester. John’s voice came in low now, distracting Lucifer from his current thoughts. “Is she happy there..?”

This threw Lucifer through a loop. It seemed like every Winchester he had run into wasn’t mindful of themselves but only thought of those they loved. And so, despite the biblical accusations, Lucifer told the truth: “Heaven is doing her well, but it is apparent that you are missed. Though I do not have many details on that situation.” 

Perhaps it was not the exact truth, as Lucifer couldn’t feel the souls up in Heaven. He had been cut out of there a long time ago and the feelings he is pronouncing are only those he could imagine Dean or Castiel would feel if they were separated. Jealously soared inside of Lucifer, Dean and Castiel, Mary and John, even his other carnies Meg and Balthazar were getting a little close for comfort. Lucifer never knew that love, he knew sibling affection in a twisted, cast-you-down-from-heaven sort of way but this love? This cross-existence emotion? He knew nothing.

Making a sick sound Lucifer looks up towards John who is still holding his head in his hands. “Alright.” John whispers hoarsely, looking up from his hands. “So long as she is ok, that’s all that matters.” That was the turning point, it seemed that John had completely ignored his own importance and opted to only care about his wife.

"Damn." Lucifer starts, really not backing up his statement with feeling but rather playing the part. "Well, it was nice to have you here." He stands up at this, moving around the desk and initiating John to stand up as well.

"What do you mean?" John asks, looking down at Lucifer. It’s funny, there is barely anyone that is taller than Lucifer, but once again it seems as if the Winchesters are unnaturally tall, even Dean is the same height as the devil himself. Lucifer clears his throat and sticks out a hand towards John, “You get to go John. I hope you find everything you’re looking for."

John hardly smiles but shakes Lucifer’s hand nonetheless. “Thank you.” With that he takes a step towards the door and pauses, glancing back, “What about my boys? Are they happy?”

Lucifer stays silent, instead staring with cool emotionless eyes until John realizes he’s not going to get an answer. He turns and walks into the light, disappearing from Lucifer’s sight and Hell’s reach. Turning back around, Lucifer goes to the door of his personal sleeping quarters. He has to get ready for his first performance in thousands of years, and he wants to look good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[John Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74989936059/im-looking-for-my-wife-attendee-john)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)]
> 
> And that is the end of John's Tale.


	18. Two Sides of the Same Coin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Castiel's POV, Part Dean's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

Dean beats the shit out of Cas that night, tears filling his eyes, his hands bloodied. Castiel didn’t stop him, he let his beloved beat his face, crack the skin farther, and fall into his arms as a broken man. Castiel cards his fingers through Dean’s hair, his face healing of all physical injures but the cracks staying. He breathes in the smell of blood and Dean, as the taller man weeps into his arms. “I had to Dean, I had to.”

Dean turns to stone in his arms, standing and becoming cold, the Dean that happened so many years ago. He pulls away, his eyes nothing but pained rage, “You _had_ to? He’s my fucking little brother! You didn’t have to, whatever the fuck it was Cas, there is always an option!” Castiel fixes his collar, ridding his whole body of any blood or dirt, “Not in this case Dean.”   
Dean laughs brokenly, leaning his head back as he stares at the ceiling. He blinks a couple times, something he often does when he’s holding something back. “Fine.” Dean says, bringing his hands down to his sides to give them a little pat. “So if it was me you’d kill me?”

Castiel’s heart stopped, his grace roars up in retaliation, breaking a few local lightbulbs. That silent reaction was all Dean needed, his jaw locks and he gives a curt nod. “Bye, Cas.” 

Castiel watches as Dean turns his back and walks away. With every step Castiel’s grace screams at his rib cage, ripping him from the inside out. He falls to his knees, his legs burying themselves in the mud as he holds his head and weeps.

His wings flare out, glossy and clean (thanks to Dean) and wrap themselves around Castiel’s shaking body. As the shadow from his raven wings surround him he realizes that he has to sleep in a Dean-less bed. Castiel crumbles into a heap, his tears staining his face and his sobs silenced by a think layer of feathers.

* * *

 

Dean stayed at Benny’s that night, resting on the sleeping bag in the corner, he allowed himself to get piss drunk with his best friend. Benny listened to Dean’s cursing and his name calling and his pining after Castiel the whole night.

The thing Dean liked the most about Benny was he never needed to give advice, he just sat there, listened, and commented on some things. Of course he could only take so much, so when Dean actually did get to the pining about Castiel all Benny did was drink another bottle of moonshine.

“Dean,” He growled after taking his final chug. “I love ya brother but I do not want to know about your sex life with Cas.” For the rest of the night Dean and Benny laugh, they laugh loud and long into the night. It wasn’t until they’re about to fall asleep when Benny gives the final comment of the night.

“Brother, ya up?”

“… Yep.”

“I just want to tell you… what you and Cas have? It’s not worth this bulllshit, if what you said about the wings is true, this isn’t a fight that’s going to last.”

“He killed my little brother Benny.”

“So? He’ll come back, this is Hell after all. But Cas doesn’t have to come back, he doesn’t have to do anything. He chose to love you and you him, just remember that.”

Dean was just happy that he was too drunk that night to smell the wrongness in the room, how it didn’t smell like Castiel’s incense, or their clothing or the pure smell that _was_ Castiel. No, he missed it all in his drunken state, but when he slept? When he slept all he could feel was the absence of wings and warmth that came with Castiel. Dean’s dreams were just his bed, his empty bed with cold sheets and a black surrounding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Hobo Clown Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75850083480/with-a-little-bit-of-fangs-and-fun)] [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]


	19. In All My Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

When Sam wakes up it’s different, he’s in a carnival, how strange is that? It gets even stranger when his brain catches up and it feels like he just talked to Dean. But Dean died several years ago, he knew this, so… maybe it was just a dream? It must have been, and Sam pushes it from his mind, instead taking in surroundings, starting with his clothing.

He’s not wearing his normal flannel, but instead wearing a soft and freshly laundered undershirt. This goes the same for his underpants, which are also white. He stands up shakily, looking around in the darkness. “Hello?” Sam calls, picking up a conveniently placed lantern. “Hello?” He repeats, walking blindly forward as the gentle sound of waves on wood started. "Is anyone there?" He calls one last time before a blue glow starts to fill the room.

A bedroom seems to form around him, shrouded in deep red silks, the blue light causing an odd chilled feeling. There seemed to be no exits, and if there were, the silk covered them. This isn’t what captured Sam’s attention however, his ears honing in on a baritone hum from a darkened part of the room. As the glow slowly got brighter the body rose, his voice coming out smooth and hypnotizing.

The ship, it swayed, heave ho, heave ho,  
On the dark and stormy blue,  
And I held tight to the Captain’s might  
As he pulled up his trews.  
“You haven’t slept,” heave ho, he said,  
“In many suns and moons.”

Sam doesn’t even know why, but he’s captivated, he knows this song for some ungodly reason, and that voice? It sounded all too familiar, so it doesn’t take Sam long to join.

”Oh, I will sleep when we reach shore,”  
“And pray we get there soon.”  
He said, “Now hush love, here’s your gown.”  
“There’s the bed, lantern’s down.”  
But I don’t want to go to sleep; in all my dreams, I drown.

The body moves closer as they sing, revealing a tall man with blonde hair. His skin looks nearly dead in the light, his eyes covered by odd shadows. He’s attractive; Sam won’t lie, even to himself. Though only an inch shorter than Sam, he seems larger than just his height, as if he were a god amongst men.

The Captain howled “Heave ho, heave ho”  
And tied me up with sheets  
“A storm is brewing in the South”  
“It’s time to go to sleep”

Blondie moves forward, removing some shadows and snaking around Sam with incredible ease. They share eye contact the entire time, browns on blues, a silent battle of will power and seduction. The other man smirks, seeming a little too cocky but still never missing a beat.

His berth, it rocks, heave ho, heave ho  
The ocean gnashed and moaned  
Like Jona will be swallowed whole  
And spat back teeth and bones

This time it’s Sam that steps forward, crowding into the man’s space and surprising him for a split second. The man, whose voice and eyes and very _essence_  felt familiar, let a seductive smile fall onto his face. He didn’t even miss a note as his fingers reached out and slowly wrapped themselves around Sam’s angled hips. They stared into each other’s eyes, something that vaguely reminded Sam of Dean and _someone_ (he couldn’t quite be sure), before tipping themselves over, the man with the beautifully sinful voice gently placing Sam on the red silk bed he had neglected to notice before.

He said, “Now hush love, here’s your gown.”  
“There’s the bed, lantern’s down.”  
“But I don’t want to go to sleep; in all my dreams, I drown.”

Sam allows it to happen; he’s too hypnotized by this man, this beautiful creature with a look in his eye that just screams ‘I need help’. That’s something Sam has always been good at, helping. He’s so hypnotized he doesn’t even realize he’s singing by himself until the man’s lips stop their moving and his hands slide up Sam’s body.

”Captain! Captain!  
I will do your chores  
I will warm your cot at night  
And mop your cabin floors  
Scold me, hold me  
I’ll be yours to keep  
The only thing I beg of you  
Don’t make me go to sleep”

Blondie doesn’t stop his movements the entire time Sam sings, the entire time he runs gentle calloused fingers over Sam’s bare arms, or the small strip of skin showing at his waist. The very touch of this man creates sensations Sam has never felt before, ever, not with Ruby, or Sarah or Brady. This heat that pools at his stomach continues to grow and he can tell the other man is being affected as well, his touches being more calculated but still exploring, as if he never expected this reaction. Sam would last at the idea if he wasn’t so compelled to sing with this man, it was odd, like reliving a dream he had never had.

The sky it flashed, heave ho, heave ho,  
His pillow toed to the brink.  
The curtains ran between my legs as we began to sink.

The man made his move, his mouth closing in on Sam's neck and behind his ear, a weak spot he keeps hidden with his luxurious hair, the man's breath is warm on his skin and the very words reverberating through out Sam.

I closed my eyes, heave ho, heave ho,  
As the ship was rent and fell.  
Eddies in the water headed to the mouth of Hell  
“Hush now, hush love, here’s your gown.”  
“There’s the bed, lantern’s down.”  
“I’m begging you please wake me up  
In all my dreams I….”

There’s only one reason Sam stops singing, and that’s because the man, wild thing, ever so softly runs his lips over Sam neck, causing him not only to shut up but to make a small whine in want. That’s all the man needed to continue. It’s beautiful, like lightening kisses, strong and glorious and the true definition of awesome.

It leaves Sam shaking, and grabbing at the man’s own shirt, keeping him staple gunned to his body. Sam’s fingers greedily take in skin, determined to get on an even playing field. He snakes his large hands under the man’s shirt and runs his fingers over the planes of the strange man’s body. It isn’t as soft as Sam’s and there are still some odd bumps here as if he’d seen more than his fair share, Sam knows this feeling, like week old cuts. He makes a move to look, just a peek, but the man bites at his neck, distracting Sam with gasps of pain and pleasure.

When Sam makes another move to look at the marks his lover stops, removing himself from Sam’s collar bone and leaning back, sighing heavily. “It is time for you to leave Sam, you have failed.”

Sam blinked, confusion quickly replacing any other emotion he had. “What do you mean, I ‘failed’?” The man gives no answers but instead reaches out with a pale hand and caresses Sam’s face, his thumb resting on his lower lip.

"One for the road, hm?" He must have meant it rhetorically because he doesn’t give Sam any time to respond, instead leaning down and gently placing his lips against Sam’s. It’s like nothing he’d felt before, the electricity is still there, the awe is as well, but this time it’s gentle, gentle and sweet with a kick of bitter. Why bitter? Sam had no idea, because at that very moment his eyes closed and darkness surrounded him, sleep overtaking him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)]  [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)]
> 
> [[song: in all my dreams I drown](http://youtu.be/PYIioYDI2Iw)]


	20. Fancy Meeting You Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

When Dean wakes the first thing he notices is how fucking cold he is, how the weight at his back that has been there for hundreds of years isn’t there. He huddles closer into the sleeping bag, holding it as if that would somehow dull the screaming his soul is currently doing, banging against his rib cage like it’s going to take flight. Dean doesn’t know how long he tries to sooth his soul with residual heat from the sleeping bag but he pulls the fabric away the moment he hears rustling behind him.

He turns, staring towards Benny’s room which is located directly across from him, and sees his bear of a friend rolling out of bed and stumbling towards the kitchen for the coffee pot. Castiel and Benny are very alike when it comes to their coffee, the only difference is Dean wouldn’t let Cas put a coffee maker in their tent. He enjoyed his lover sleepy, it made for interesting mornings and gentle kisses.

Benny grumbles the entire way through making his coffee, reaching blindly towards the shelf and finding the nearest coffee mug, places it on the counter with a rather loud clank, making both persons jump slightly. "Shit." Benny growls, rubbing his face as if that would take the sleepiness away. After the coffee is brewed and both boys have a cup in their hand they get dressed in their carnie uniforms, Benny leaving off the makeup until he knows for certain he’s performing, and Dean leaving his knife hostler behind, too sickened by the notion to even look at it.

They walk in silence through the carnival, both drinking their coffee and watching as the other carnies crawl out of their humble abodes. Meg joins their walk, saying Balthazar is still sleeping and shouldn’t be bothered “‘cause he’s a prick in the morning”. So instead they ignore the fact Dean feels, and looks, more dead than usual and make their way to the mess tent.

Despite the fact Cas would sleep in if he had the choice, Dean’s heart still picks up as they near the tent and enter. Pain shoots through him, because he might have been worried about seeing Cas but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to see him, he _needs_  to, his bonded soul demands it. He tried his damnedest to ignore it and instead fills up a plate with sausage, bacon, English muffins with butter, two large pancakes and a cup of coffee before plopping himself down at the nearest table.

He’s half way through his first piece of bacon when Benny sits down across from him, Meg joining them a couple seconds later. Meg and Benny banter around Dean, talking about something how they could convince Lucifer to allow the carnies another source of entertainment besides attendees. Dean ignores it, allows it to be filtered out of his brain as he focuses on his food. He doesn’t even know how he’s eating right now, everything tastes like ash, like something that has gotten rotten or stale. He continues however, knowing to only his emotions that makes the food bad.

Dean’s so concentrated on his food he almost misses Gabriel’s entrance, _almost_  being a key word as Gabriel swings himself right next to Dean on the bench and steals a little piece of muffin. “Good morning Deano.” Dean has never wanted to stab someone in the fucking eyeball so hard in his life. Gabriel is too cheery in the mornings generally but today of all days he seems even more joyous.

Gritting his teeth and knowing everyone is either staring or listening in very intently Dean tries to keep his cool, “‘Morning Gabe.”

"How you doing?" Gabriel nearly sings, picking up the last piece of Dean’s bacon and stuffing it in his face. Benny shuffles slightly, getting ready just in case Dean needs back up. Dean ignores Gabriel’s question and instead rolls his eyes and downs the rest of his coffee. At least Gabriel isn’t stupid and just continues with that he’s saying. “I was wondering because I saw Cassie-poo entering your tent carrying something large last night.”

Dean jerks to attention, turning his head to look at The Twin. "What?"

Gabriel grins, something that was grating on Dean’s nerves, “I have no idea, don’t know if he left either.” Dean’s about to stand up and leave when someone makes a move out of the corner of his eye. It doesn’t take long for Dean to know who, as Crowley walks directly in front of him, smiling condescendingly at him.

"I saw." Dean doesn’t say anything, giving Crowley a pointed look and waiting for him to continue. "Looked like he was carrying a baby moose." Dean wasn’t in the mood for Crowley’s snarky comments and stood up, Benny placing his hands on the table as if he was going to get up. Dean just shakes his head, a sign for Benny to stay before turning towards Crowley once more, “Did you see him leave?”

Crowley nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets and smirking, “Yeah but when he left he was mooseless.” That’s all Dean needed to hear before exiting the mess tent, heading directly for his own tent.

It didn’t take that long to get there, what with Dean’s brain racing and the fact his tent was in the carnie residential region. He pauses at the entrance, unsure of what Castiel could have possibly placed inside. He didn’t own anything that large, matter of fact the only stuff that large was their shared bed or wardrobe, which made no sense. Maybe Gabriel and Crowley were playing some kind of joke on him, they did like being assholes and Castiel was Gabriel’s little brother, something Dean learned one night while curled up in the protective feathers of Castiel’s wings.

Inhaling, Dean moved the curtain, entering the darkened tent. It smelt fresh, the years of dust had disappeared and now only contained the scent of compressed dirt and tent fabric. Letting his eyes adjust to the lighting Dean looked around. It was how he left it so many years ago, the hanger, the simple carpet that kept the dirt in place, the cot.

The now occupied cot.

Dean’s eyes snapped back to the body, he knew that form like the back of his hand, after all he had shared a childhood with this person but also had protected and loved him like any older brother would. "Sammy?" Dean croaks, stepping forward and watching as the body stirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Hobo Clown Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75850083480/with-a-little-bit-of-fangs-and-fun)] [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[The Twin Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75947675454/run-and-hide-heavens-rogue)] [[The Major Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/76262282587/a-musician-with-a-twist-profession-bandleader)]


	21. Brotherly Intuition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

Dean inched closer the moment a tired grumble comes from the body. He grabs Sam’s shoulder and yanks him so they’re facing each other. Yep, it’s Sammy, Dean could never mistake that annoyed scrunched up bitchface for anyone else. It takes all of 2.5 seconds for Sam to realize what’s going on, his confused face turning to that of realization.

“Dean!” Sam nearly yells before tackling his older brother into a massive hug. Suddenly Dean understood Crowley’s comment about Sam being a moose, not that he’d ever tell Crowley that. 

Sam hugs Dean like it’s the first time in four years he’s seen him, which, if what happened yesterday was repressed by the ringleader, would make sense. Dean gently pats his brother’s back, pulling away and giving Sam a quick once over to make sure he was safe. There were no marks, no cuts or bruises, he seemed completely healthy.

If Dean had looked a little harder he would have noticed the very gentle makeup covering his brother’s neck, and if Sam had been wearing a V neck Dean would have seen the bruises sprinkling his collar bone, but he didn’t, and went on happily without a concern in the world. 

"Sam," he moves farther back, allowing his behemoth of a brother the space to properly stand. "What’s the last thing you remember?" Dean watches as Sam’s face actually grows a shade lighter, a rare occurrence, before his brother clears his throat and speaks up.

"Ah… My dream? Um college?" He seems to hedge more towards the college bit, purposefully making the dream but seem small and Dean notices. Dean is also not stupid, he knows dreams in Hell can be actual reality, only seeming like a dream to keep further pain away. So of course he has to ask, “What was your dream?” 

Sam’s face turns another shade pinker, and he quickly bows his head, scratching at the back of his neck, “Oh you know, just a dream.” Stalling definitely, “Sam no offense but dreams are important here.”

It was a mistake to say that, because Sam had to be reintroduced to the fact he was in Hell, Dean had to explain Castiel to Sam as well… But how could Dean even do that if he and Cas weren’t exactly talking? Sam’s face goes 100% confused puppy, even tilting his head slightly to convey his confusion. “Where are we Dean?”

Sighing, Dean rubs his forehead, knowing this would take awhile. Grabbing the chair that had been placed against the wall, Dean swings it around to face the bed before plopping himself down with a groan and making a little nod at the bed for Sam to do the same. “We’re in Hell Sammy.” Sam blinks, opening his mouth to say something but shutting it as Dean continues. “We, well, you now, are an attendee, doomed to relive your sin over and over again until you stop and figure out how the fuck to get to Heaven.”

Dean rests his hands on his knees, looking down at the floor for a moment to father his thoughts, “I’m a carnie, someone who’s stuck here for well, a long time, but I did it for someone.” he can feel the wave of explanation coming on so he just gets it out, Sam would find out later anyway, or you know, forget it so Dean would have to explain it yet again.

“It started with you, it’s the only reason I can tell you these things now, but I met someone.” Sam straightened a little, his eyes bright but wary and even a tad happy. “ _His_ name is Castiel, he’s a carnie as well and just like me he chose this life.” Sam finally cut Dean off here, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise, “Why would he do that?”

At least Sam didn’t seem fazed by the fact his brother was now not only into dick but also one dick in particular. Dean stays silent for a moment, scanning his knuckles, peppered with scars from punching Castiel, before continuing, “He did it for his brother.” Silence fell over them and so Dean cleared his throat and started up once more, “This used to be my tent but I moved in with Cas, I’ve been with him for a long time Sam, a very long time. Time moves differently here.” Sam raises an eyebrow, “How long?” "It’s 40 years for a month, I’ve been here for four years, you can do the math, geek."

Sam lets out a low whistle, shaking his head before looking around the room, “Where ah… is he?” Dean’s body stiffens just for a second and Sam knows, sending him a bitch face that would rival those of Dean’s biggest mistakes. “Dean, what did you do?” Dean leans back in the chair, rubbing a hand through his hair as he speaks, and “Look Sam it’s complicated alright? Things in Hell are less black and white than you’d think.” Sam gives Dean a disbelieving look, but Dean’s not really paying attention, he’s not paying attention because he realizes something, something very _off_ for this carnival. "Sam…" He starts, leaning forward and dropping his hand down to look his brother in the eyes.   
"Yes?"

"Not to act like I don’t care but… How were you even _allowed_  over here?" Sam’s face is of complete confusion, and of course he would be, how would he know that attendees couldn’t come over to the carnie residential area, save for special guests? Dean’s blood is running jet cold now, his back producing goosebumps.

Only one person had this power to lift the blood binding on the area, that one person who happened to be the Devil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)] [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)]


	22. The Catalyst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV
> 
> beta'd by [thedarklordemma](thedarklordemma.tumblr.com)

The Winchester brothers didn’t talk for much longer after that, instead Dean grabs Sam’s boots and throws them towards his brother, signaling that they have to leave. As Sam pulls his shoes on Dean’s mind wanders to Castiel, as it always does. If Cas really did bring Sam’s body here that meant this was all planned. The carnival, despite the chaos, was controlled, controlled by Castiel’s older brother. The color left Dean’s face as he stared into space, as it slowing dawned on him that maybe he just broke the best thing he ever had because of a misconception.

"Dean… Dean, you there?" Sam’s voice comes to his ears like static, snapping Dean’s attention back to the space around him and not his own performance tent from the previous night. Clearing his throat Dean looks up towards his brother, “Yeah sorry, lets get going.”

He doesn’t give Sam time to respond before he’s out of the tent and into the reasonably fresh air. He can still smell breakfast and hear the distant chatter of the other carnies. He looks back to make sure Sam’s behind him before making his way to Lucifer’s office and personal tent, which happens to be closer to Castiel’s than the rest of the carnies’. They walk in silence, Dean’s hands stuffed into his pockets and eyes straight, hoping that Castiel doesn’t to show up, that he doesn’t have to talk to his boyfriend (husband?) in front of Sam.

About half way to Castiel’s tent, Sam speaks up, “So… what do you do here…?” Dean’s eyes flash over to his brother for a second before focusing back on the path in front of them, making sure he takes the right turn to Lucifer’s tent and not go straight towards Castiel’s. “Carnies are performers, each one of us has our own talent that we make a show of.” Sam nods, his head bowed but his eyes on Dean still, Dean can feel it. “What do you do?”

Dean’s skin crawls in disgust, remembering all too vividly what his brother looked like hanging on his wheel, blood soaking his shirt and his eyes dimmed. “I throw knives.” His little brother just gives a little nod, digesting that before speaking up once again, “I kinda had a feeling it’d be that.”

"Why?" Dean flinches at his own voice, it sounds too harsh, too rushed but Sam ignores it, shrugging and bringing Dean’s eyes back over to him. "You were always good at them, besides I highly doubt your skills with women would come in handy now that you…"

"Have Cas?"

"…Yeah." It kills Dean, it rips out his heart, throws his soul in a blender and makes his body physically sick to even think about Castiel right now, things are fucked and he just… doesn’t want to think about it. He just wants to push the gaping hole away from his chest and ignore it like he always does, and it works for less than a minute. "You’re taking this all in stride." Dean comments, hoping to bring the conversation away from his own mistakes.

"What?" Sam asks, his voice becoming teasing, "That you got the hots for some guy? It’s not the most shocking thing in the world Dean." He gently hits Dean’s shoulder with his own, making Dean veer slightly to the side. "Besides, it’s good you’re happy, even if it’s in Hell." Dean laughs, it’s as genuine as he can fake it and while Sam’s face creases he doesn’t say anything. Luckily for Dean, they’ve arrived at Lucifer’s tent, causing enough of a distraction for Sam to stop playing 20 questions.

"Here we are," Dean starts, walking to the door and reaching for the knob, "The Devil’s den." It’s funny in a sick way for Dean, the fact that Lucifer is one of the few people here he feels can understand him. Lucifer enjoys classic rock and allows Dean to listen to it whenever he wants, Lucifer also is one of the few here that has an appreciation for liquor that causes a solid burn in one’s throat. Funny how the Devil is vicariously a brother now, one of the people he can just walk into their tent and not feel like interrupting. When he enters he’s welcomed by the warm light that comes from the dimmed lamps and warm silks.

At first it felt too intimate to walk into this place that was Lucifer’s sanctuary, but the more time he spent with the ringmaster the more he realized that Lucifer wasn’t as closed off to Dean as with the others. Dean was one of the few Lucifer himself told the story of the fall too, it was Dean that Lucifer always left a glass of Jack out for, Dean found comfort in Satan’s friendship and that in itself was all kinds of weird. As always, Lucifer knew Dean was coming, he had his feet on his desk, a glass of some amber liquid in one hand and a book in another. But there was something off, like Lucifer was trying too hard to play normal for it to be normal. Dean was so busy trying to dissect Lucifer’s oddness he missed his brother growing rim rod straight with eyes working themselves over the “man”.

No, instead Dean just sat down in his customary seat and grabbed the glass of Jack that was waiting for him. "Hello to you too Dean." Lucifer chides, a small smirk crawling at his lips as he finishes his sentence, dog earring the already roughed up book before placing his feet firmly on the ground. "I’m assuming this has to do something with your brother?" Lucifer doesn’t bat an eyelash as he looks up at Sam, sending him a small smirk before gesturing at the seat next to Dean, which Sam gladly takes.

"Yes." Dean doesn’t even hesitate downing the first glass, one of the perks of hell is you can drink as much as you want and never wake up with a hangover, for all carnies at least. "I was wondering how he got into the carnie section." That seems to cause pause in Lucifer, his hands stilling as his eyes dart towards Sam before flying back to Dean.

This time Dean does notice what’s going on with Sammy, the bright pink that covered his cheeks and parts of his ears, the fact he kept his eyes downcast. Dean ignored it all, because maybe that was just a symptom of being in the same room as Lucifer himself, after all getting this much attention from Satan must be overwhelming for someone who didn’t know him. “He’s your brother, I thought you would enjoy knowing the fact he was alive and safe.”

While Dean didn’t pick up on his brother’s own bashfulness he knew when Lucifer was playing it too generously. “What else?” Lucifer’s eyes flash something dangerous, another emotion underlining it which Dean had never seen and didn’t understand.

“My little brother…” He sighs, rubbing his temples before continuing, unabashed by their company, “My little brother loves you, you know? You two have caused me more than one headache, and he wanted to make sure you were happy or something along those lines.” He whips a hand uselessly in the air before finishing, “I should have your heart on a platter, but as he said, you will ‘hopefully’ come around and realize what a jackass you’re being.”

Cas gets his air quotes from his older brother, Dean has known this for awhile, but while Lucifer means it in a sarcastic sense, Castiel genuinely makes it and that’s what makes Dean’s stomach turn and knot at the sight. "Yeah, well…" Dean mumbles out, staring at his callused hands before starting up again, this time louder, forgetting his brother is in the room for a moment; "he has too much faith in me."

It would have been good if Lucifer just let Dean rot in his own self pity but instead he rolls his eyes and lets out a dramatic sigh, fixing his posture so that he can look directly into Dean’s eyes. “In Hell how much hope does a fallen angel have?” It’s the killing line, the one that energizes Dean’s body into action and before he knows it he’s standing.

“I need to go.”

"Damn straight." Lucifer replies with a smirk, flicking his eyes towards Sam as he states, "I’ll watch him, maybe fill him in some, go and be obvious. But fucking apologize, or I’ll stick your balls on a pike." Dean would laugh normally at the gruesome imagery or sympathy pains but now his mind is focused on one thing, he needs to get to Cas. So with a little nod towards Lucifer and a look towards his brother he turns around and leaves the tent, his body on automatic as he thinks of one thing and one thing only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Sam Winchester Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/74993246003/in-all-my-dreams-i-drown-attendee-sam)] [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)]


End file.
